The car speeds like fire balls. Darth Vader speeds down the track. He skids around the corner he skids on two wheels. Poof goes the engine Darth Vader tried to start the engine it started Darth Vader drove fast down the road he drove off road. He got stuck in the mud. He put his car on super boost he zoomed out of the mud Darth Vader’s back tire skidded and his car tipped over.
Riley, I like how you used a simile it helped to paint a picture in my mind. I can see a fast car racing down a track. You also tried using onomatapoeia. Next time I would like you to have a go at editing your work on your own. Lets get those fullstops and capital letter in the right place. I look forward to seeing tomorrows writing. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteMrs Taylor
Thanks Mrs Taylor
ReplyDeleteWell done Riley, I like that you have put a photo up and then you have written down a story of your thoughts on that photo. Nice work
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